"What has anyone done to deserve this.."....this question keeps haunting me every time I look at the injured, the dead in the recent bomb blasts in Mumbai. It could have been me, my loved ones who were there that day on that ill-fated trains. In a fraction of second, so many lives met their untimely and tragic ends..so many dreams broken...why? How can anyone jsutify their cause by killing innocent men, women and children....who have done nothing even remotely to incur their wrath. Whatever the reason might be behind these inhuman acts of terror, how can "men" of flesh and blood do this to one of their kin,,,to mankind...How can anyone forget that we are mortals, that death shall spare no one, however powerful he or she might be; and that to whatever religion we might belong; to whatever race we might beolong, we are all the same. Our lives are entwined ...that we cannot live in peace if we try to disrupt the web of life. The story of one man, one family, one community does not belong just to itself...By causing sorrow to another, no one can be ever happy, however inhuman, and unfeeling he might be towards others...because there is soemthing beyond the capability of humans and that is his own destiny which is carved by every thought he think, every deed he does...in this web of life.

"When the road you are trudging seems up the hill
and you want to smile but you have to sigh,
Rest if you must but do not quit...."

me facing an all time low confidence....what a confession...So I am trying to remind myself of all such such good things which gives you hope of you being still capable of building a better tomorrow even after you have failed yourself today.Some people are born with it, but if you are not; forget them, and try to become one of the other breed--the ones who are not born with it but still acquire everything that they were not born with. Nice statement naa..actually inspired from a line read from somewhere..Anyways, these things help you a lot when you feel down in the dumps for not doing well in life, or for whatever other reason it might be.
Its a strange predicament, life actually is. But the best bet we all have is probably to give in our best and try to learn from the mistakes of our past, be good today and hope for the best tomorrow. Given the fact that we cannot will the future, this is perhaps the best way out, or maybe the only way that is there...

Ma..the first word almost all of us utter. How difficult it is to understand her, and how easy...Speaking of my mother, (I fought with her today...) she is the most emotional person I have ever met in my life. May be that is the way mother's are made...Probably that is how God makes a mother out of a woman...Well, I love my mother very much, but I know that I shall never be able to love her as much as loves me...maybe someday when I become a mother, I'll learn the way to love somebody so much as my mother loves me. But oh you should see her shout at me....but then when you think about it, you see her love behind i...and that is what pinches you when you grow old, you try to reason as to how someone can love another sooo much, and there you fail terribly because, reasoning someone's love for you can never lead you to a reasonable answer...What a pity!!But maybe the best way is to feel that love, love her for all the strange reasons that she loves you for, and revere God for that one wonderful relation in this world which is full of love, and nothing else....

Strange are the ways of life...You ask for something, you get it and yet you are depressed, depressed enough to know not what you are doing...And the next day ou have nothing yet you fell like the happiest person roaming on this earth. No wonder they say even if you have everything in life you might not have happiness. Well neways rt now have loads of studies to do..So these things can have a backseat..I have to move on ....to survive...

In the midst of my RF lecture today, I had a thought...I had just read a book on peepers so this all may be an aftermath of what I had read. I don't know why but I was trying to find out what was going on in the minds of other people. I looked at them, I concentrated on their faces, I tried to read them. But beyond what I already I know about them, and beyond what I have conjured of them from their past actions or behaviour or how they have projected themselves, I knew nothing about any of them. And I realised how totally dependent we were on the expressions of the physical self when it came to knowing others. Why could not I hear besides the "me" thinking hard and the "my"questioning mind, "my friend" sitting just next to me thinking...Is it because right from the day we gain consciousness we all concentrate on the word "me" rather than the word "us". I read somewhere that we actually experience pain when we see others being hurt .. it is some mimic neurons doing the trick or something but our other very inteligent part of the brain tells us that we are yet to sense any pain. Is this the reason why we turn a blind eye to the sorrow of other people, is this the reason why we cheat on others without caring about the hurt that we cause them, is this the reason why we fail to feel the pain of anyone not a part of my self...May be the answer lies beyond our capabilities, may be it is something we shall never be able to find...But then is the answer so important that we, deterred by the fact that we cannot find any answer to this do not even try to look beyond the obvious...that we do not even try to feel what the other person is feeling...


I know it is too much to ask of ourself to put others before ourself...but maybe it is reasonable enough for the shrewdest of us all to atleast think for the rest of the world other than "me" before doing something....

Easing the heart --- "your way"

There are times like this, when you are at a loss to understand yourself; there are times like this when you neither feel happy nor wronged, but you feel a pain, simple and harmless pain which leaves your mind crippled, incapable of thinking about anything but about the pain itself. I had once learnt that the best way to ease your heart is to pour your heart before somebody, or pen them down. I like the latter, not because I lack friends or dear ones who would listen but because I feel writing them on paper gives you an impartial approach. You know that you are not being judged and even if you falter with words, the humble paper and pen will never deny you a second chance. And after you are done you feel so much better because you did not even have to articulate your thoughts or give them a concrete form to express them.. ..writing is surely a blessing....

Myself

"Life is still a mystery.....
And each day a newer challenge..."